Bible Studies For Life – May 11, 2008
Study Theme: Unlocking Your Best Relationships
Title: Communicate
Bible Passages:
Background Passages: Deuteronomy 6:1-9; 2 Samuel 13:1–14:33; Proverbs 4:1-9
Focal Passages: Deuteronomy 6:4-9; 2 Samuel 14:23-24,28-33; Proverbs 4:3-6;
Communication is the most difficult part of any type of relationship. As soon as we think we understand the other person, we realize we don’t. We think we’ve been heard, only to have our loved one act as if we’d never dealt with the issue at all. Or, the last resort - known as the silent treatment – happens when we shut down and cut off all communications. But God has a different plan. Good communication is an important key to unlocking your best relationships.
Biblically speaking, intentional communication with another person about God and his ways builds a solid relationship and helps us avoid wrongdoing. Communication is critical for all healthy relationships, and God makes it possible for humans to interact in meaningful ways that increase communication and strengthen all relations.
This lesson is designed to help you build strong, godly relationships by identifying reasons people in relationships stifle or lack communication and by considering your own relationships that may need some attention and time.
1. Communicate—Divine Example and Exhortation (Deut. 6:4-9)
In this first selection, Moses is instructing the Israelites not only to love and obey God but also to teach regularly to their children God’s promises and provisions. These old words of our faith give us a target for effective communication with our family and in particular with our children, especially verse 7:
“Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”
The key to communication is talking to one another about important things, especially faith. Whether we’re running around in the mini-van to soccer, dance, and piano, or taking a road trip for vacation, being “on the road” offers great chances for communication between family members.
A nightly ritual in our house is bed time prayers and blessings. I ask my children to reflect on what they did well that day, and on what they could have done better or differently. After a period of reflection we say prayers of thanks, forgiveness, and intercession. Moses says that talking about the precepts of God “when you lie down” is important, and it is a wonderful way to end a day with family. We are able to tell important things about our successes and failures and to build a relationship through sharing. Morning is another great time to accomplish this kind of communication in families.
2. Communicate—Life and Protection (Prov. 4:3-6)
This second passage is part of an appeal from the writer to a young person to pursue wisdom. In exhorting the listener, the writer hearkens back to words of his father’s wisdom spoken to him “when I was still tender.”
Pursue wisdom, his father told him. The writer is remembering words from his father at a very young age, and it illustrates to us that important communication takes place early on in life We hear this same man now telling his own children, indicating that communication between generations continues throughout life.
While reflecting on his own upbringing, this father is communicating to his children about life and the pursuit of wisdom. It is essential as you teach this lesson to remind your learners that instruction about God is essential in the lives of children, and continued conversation and reflection on God is essential between adults.
By keeping the traditions of the faith out in front of our families, we help create a space for holy conversations to happen, and in those holy conversations we grow closer to one another. Sharing the Spirit of God increases harmony in the home and makes communication come together. People who live in wisdom relate in harmony. Finally, it’s important to remember that what we communicate and that we communicate are equally essential to healthy relationships.
3. Communicate—A Case Study (2 Sam. 14:23-24,28-33)
Exiled five years from his father, David, Absalom sought to communicate face to face with him but this story doesn’t ultimately end well. Your learners may not be familiar with this portion of David’s family life, so it will be good to briefly summarize the struggles between Absalom and David found in 2 Samuel 13:1 to 14:22. In the end Absalom is killed at the hands of Joab, and the story of David and his son is a negative example of communication. In effect, it is a story of “too little, too late.”
This may be a painful topic for those who have adult children – for it will remind them that displaying affection for a moment cannot make up for years of neglecting communication. What’s more, the cutoff between David and Absalom fostered bitterness that lasted a lifetime.
Cutoff is a wrong way to handle relationship mishaps, but it’s certainly popular for folk who like to avoid hard conversations and conflict. Cutoff feels easy at first. It’s easier to just not talk or relate. But in the long run it is very difficult and costly because of lost time and lost love. The dismally gloomy truth is that we cannot make up for lost time in relationships, even if there is reconciliation at the end.
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