I've Got the Fever for Judge Judy and Ellen

I'm at home today, sick with a fever and head cold. I worked a little this morning and then turned on the mid-day news. I dozed, only to awake to Judge Judy being interviewed by Ellen Degeneres. I was left with a few questions:

• When did Ellen get a TV show? Perhaps the more relevant question is "WHY?" She's funny and I like her, but TV talk show host? It was too casual, too flippant, too full of her tangled-tongue mistakes. I don't mind that in a stand up routine, but I prefer my talk shows to be a little more professionally done.
• Where did that cult audience come from? They laughed at everything, even her baby-talk noises and dorky dance moves. The phone call to "Gladys" had no content except "how great Ellen is." Tomorrow's show promises to be a celebration of Ellen's 49th birthday. I like you, Ellen, you're really funny, but I barely send an email to dear friends on their special days. Honey, why must your show be about making you feel confident? Do you need to talk to a minister?
• Who the heck is Judge Judy? Turns out I've been more unplugged from pop-culture than I thought. The woman's show is the number one court room TV show on the toob and silly me, I didn't even know there was a competition. I thought the People's Court had filled all the programming slots for retired judges looking for a little TV time. I miss Rusty, the bailiff, but I must say Judy's better looking than Judge Wapner!

This isn't my jab at Judy or Ellen - girls, do your thing. It is a jab at America. I'm sure there are lots worse things to watch on television, but how uniteresting is your own life if you watch this stuff?

At least I had a fever.