Attuned Relationships

Reading David Brooks' The Social Animal, and I'm compelled by this quote:

"Children born into a web of attuned relationships know how to join in conversations with new people and read social signals.  They see the world as a welcoming place.  Children born in a web of threatening relationships can be fearful, withdrawn, or overaggressive.  They often perceive threats, even when none exist.  They may not be able to read signals or have a sense of themselves as someone worth listening to.   This act of unconscious reality construction powerfully determines what we see and what we pay attention to.  It powerfully shapes what we will end up doing."

It suggests what Ed Friedman and Murray Bowen have taught me by way of their thinking on Family Systems:  That the quality of the network of family relationships has a direct bearing on the outcome of a child's ability to self-define and his or her own realization of happiness.  It suggests that pastors who are interested in seeking the salvation of individual souls might rightly give fuller consideration to the strengthening of families they serve.