I'm reading thirteen moons by Charles Frazier. The jury is still out on how good a story it is, but so far the writing is breath taking. Better than Cold Mountain; more alive, more poetic.
In the first chapter the main character, Will Cooper, is an old, old man, feeble and nearly bed ridden. "There is no scatheless rapture," he says. "...even when all else is lost, there is yearning. One of the few welcome lessons age teaches is that only desire trumps time."
I'm only 36, and though ancient to my children, I'm young to a lot of people. I feel young to me. I don't know what it means to be old, but I'm far enough along the journey now to understand what it means to age. I hope Will is right. I hope that yearning persists, that desire does trump time.
A lot of what I see as a pastor suggests otherwise, though. What I see suggests that most souls die long before their bodies, that desire and yearning are a commodity of the young. What I see suggests that passion proves faltering when dreams die. What I see suggests that vision and possibility seem less important for most of the aged than for the young.
There are exceptions, of course. Take one of my church members. He is in his 70's, he dances competitively, and he visits our church members in the hospital every day. In many ways he's younger than me and passion still has a grip on him. But the average middle class American seems so lulled into complacency that living life is more maintenance than anything else. It is a taming by way of easy life.
This I cannot take. This way I cannot live.
- Desire means that no matter how many times you read The Old Man and the Sea, you still believe he might pull that fish in.
- Yearning means that no matter how many times you watch The Blues Brothers you laugh at the "Orange whip" line.
- Desire means that no matter how many times you've held her, you want to do it again.
- Yearning actually means that my favorite joke about the Scotsman and the steering wheel sticking out of his kilt is always going to make me laugh when I tell it.
- Desire means that no matter how sleepy I get, I'm always willing to shoot one more game of pool, linger in that conversation just a few ideas more, and to argue politics with you even when we agree.
I cannot imagine a life without yearning and desire. Will Cooper gives me hope that ahead of me still lies years of wanderlust, adventure, restlessness, and hope. When that ceases, someone please take me off of the ventilator. Until then, I want to live life to the lees.
1 comment:
Gary - Exceptionally good, even for you. The day I don't laugh at you telling that stupid Scottsman joke (note: I said laugh at you telling it, not laugh at it)is the day I know its time to crawl in the coffin. (You might've mentioned the "phenomenon" gag as well!) I do recall a night when I said I was too tired to shoot one more game of pool; I was convinced at the time and still am that I disappointed you deeply. But then, I'm WAY older than you are.
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